Adult Confirmation

I just completed a class offered at my new church and run by our Pastor, Pete. Five of us met once or twice a month over the last six months or so and discussed God, Jesus, the bible, the history of the Christian religion, the structure of our services, discipleship and community to name a few. Last night we had our final discussion at a cozy little Italian restaurant. We drank delicious red wine, ate an amazing meal, chatted and finally, we each read a one pager we had written on what we got out of the class. I went last and here is what I read:

When I started this class I thought I might try to figure out whether or not I believed in God. My thinking was that belief and understanding went hand in hand and were a prerequisite for truly belonging in a religion. I have always liked the idea of having a religion. I think it felt to me like it would be a structure or a framework that would always be there, unyielding and strong to hold me up against whatever tragedy might blow me over in the future. But as the class went on I realized that this might not be the best path for me to follow. Do I believe in an omnipotent, omniscient, benevolent being? Is there a God? The more I contemplated it the more confused I became until I finally heard the one thing I realized I had been waiting to hear: it is okay not to understand God because we are only human and God is that profound. This was new to me. The idea that God isn’t something pre-existing that I just never learned about, but that God is actually something I would have to define for myself. Of course, when you think about it it makes sense. As I began pondering that, it became obvious I could never understand it. I think the most profound moment for me came when Pastor Pete said that all our ideas of God are always wrong. Duh. How could we possibly understand God? By my own definition of God, he is not able to be understood. And, for some reason, this class made me okay with that. I began to realize that religion is simply a way of putting God in to tangible terms that a human being might be able to comprehend, work with and learn from. I also became aware that I had an understanding of religion based on prejudice, a cursory knowledge of history, but mostly ignorance. I thought of Christians as haughty, self-important, “righteous” people who were mostly imperialist conquerors who felt they had a mandate from God to rule the world. Perhaps this is even true, but there is a deeper understanding of being Christian that I had missed. Being Christian means being brave. It means standing up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. It means following a path that leads to harmony and peace, not war. As we began to learn about and discuss the evolution of Christianity and the bible through the ages I learned something more important than understanding God, understanding what God is for: the power to transform. Yes there is much suffering in life. I do not know why God allows it, but the question is, what can I do about it? What can God help me do about it? This class has inspired me to be a better person because it is possible and because it is important. This class has allowed me to believe in God with out understanding what that is. I can not think of a greater gift or a greater reason to contribute to the fulfillment of God’s kingdom.

Thank you,
Wendy